Now I Know You and See How Wide You Are to the World

by Loone and Paper Bee

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The first recordings of these projects not as solo projects.

Recorded, mixed, and mastered at Dead Air studios in Leverett MA.

Thanks to Mt. Home Arts and Gray Sky Micropress for their support for the manifestation of this record.Thanks to my companions and compatriots in The Milky Way for weaving this nest with me.

Album art by Beyon.

Loone on this record:
Noel'le Longhaul plays guitar and sings
Nick Berger plays bass and sings
Alyssa Kai plays drums and synth

Currently in performance:
Noel'le Longhaul plays guitar and sings
Nick Berger plays synth and sings
Alyssa Kai plays drums
Ruby Opal Vespertillio plays bass

Paper Bee:
Noel'le plays drums, alyssa plays bass, nick plays guitar and sings. Don't assume our genders based on out voices. Xoxo


released December 17, 2015



all rights reserved


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Loone Montague, Massachusetts

Queer dirges and hymnals. Doom and flight.

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Track Name: Loone: All Pacing Horses
Come here
all pacing horses
rearing at the ocean
who graze on roses

com here
all who fear the sea
who stalk its boundaries
who's eyes flare milky
white at dawn

skin is not an ocean made of edges and salt
a heart is not a meadow knitting water into frost
but i saw fields of you

i would like to be
a dark country
full of soft grass and silky trees
flitted between by horses

fingers for fires found kindling to touch
the wood is split along pre-existing pathways
this is all I know about love.
Track Name: Loone: Ocotillo (For Nick)
I saw your body
spill out like a timber line
i felt my body
as needles and pins to your pine
unravelling lines
of mountains and spines
frayed into flight
and hung
from the trees
we lay beneath

you smelled smoke
from my body burning on a beach
i felt hope
from your body bending towards speech
shaking like geese
seeking out heat
or feeling

found out too fast
or seeming too vast
with too big a past to stay safe in
there are hands that need holding
i only have two
i wring out their water and bring it to you
to that luminous darkness
emerging between
my head and your head when we are sleeping
and I don't wanna die there
but do wanna stay
long enough to love that place
can i come to you often
with a weary embrace
can i tend to your tiredness and sing to your strength

dear distant friend
we are here till our bodies end

i wanna meet you there
where it really begins
parting the air
leaning into the wind
i wanna hold your hand
stepping into the dark
i wanna feel the land
that blooms in your heart
there are many roads
we will be on alone
and it's not true
most don't lead home
but i will take comfort and joy
in knowing you're out there too
and sure i might get sad
when i don't get to see you
but when i do

i'm gonna wrap you in a flame
that burns away every name
the world knew
to use to be cruel to you
Track Name: Loone: Offering
this is nobody's offering
this is nobody's miracle
this is trying to turn dirt into stone.

with enough pressure i could
break my body into diamonds
facets all face outward you know.

Boys with crystal chests they
fill with light they're hard to shatter
mirrors for me were never whole.

I am tired of this stupid human body
I feel wired, most nights I can't sleep

tossing and turning like the stone that left your hand
so many morning ago
I hope it lies in the shadow of the last
mill building before it falls down
buried beneath brick becoming bone

where do houses go when they die?

every place I've ever lived is full of ghosts
every time I leave I make another one
every one I've ever loved is full of ghosts
every time they leave they make another one

every place I've ever lived is full of ghosts
every time i leave i make another one
but when i don't move i feel their many hands
they remind me
this is not mine
they remind me
none of this is mine

and that gives me anxiety, and that gives me strength.
Track Name: Loone: Foam (For Alyssa)
little girl
you are tall like the world
what wanders unfurl
from seafoam curls

you have stared at two oceans
little middle fingers raised
not breaking or broken
just a little too late

I watched you start over each day
it stayed hard
Digging through muscle and earth
long sharp shards
I wanted to bring you someplace
warm and far
we were wading through water
or was it stars
oh honey you haunt the dawn.

if no light remains
it peeled off in flakes
condensed into black clay
into prayers unprayed
there is a house in your heart
it is stories tall
reach out in its dark
scrape bare walls

born in the wane
fingernail whitecaps is it new moons or waves
the arc of your words was split through and unheard
and writhing like a swarm of birds
i wonder will your hair grow gray

will you grow it long
or cut it short
will you grow it long
or things short

i hate my body, you love my body
i hate my body, you love my body

the cactus is dead
the fennel is dead
the bonsai is dead
because we left them in our van
and we live in new england
it's no place for a cactus from arizona
it's no place for some fennel from a river in california
it's no place for a bonsai probably from home depot

dear distant friend
we are here till our bodies end