Now I Know You and See How Wide You Are to the World

by Loone and Paper Bee

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1.
Come here all pacing horses rearing at the ocean who graze on roses com here all who fear the sea who stalk its boundaries who's eyes flare milky white at dawn skin is not an ocean made of edges and salt a heart is not a meadow knitting water into frost but i saw fields of you i would like to be a dark country full of soft grass and silky trees flitted between by horses fingers for fires found kindling to touch the wood is split along pre-existing pathways this is all I know about love.
2.
I saw your body spill out like a timber line i felt my body as needles and pins to your pine unravelling lines of mountains and spines frayed into flight and hung from the trees we lay beneath you smelled smoke from my body burning on a beach i felt hope from your body bending towards speech shaking like geese seeking out heat or feeling found out too fast or seeming too vast with too big a past to stay safe in there are hands that need holding i only have two i wring out their water and bring it to you to that luminous darkness emerging between my head and your head when we are sleeping and I don't wanna die there but do wanna stay long enough to love that place can i come to you often with a weary embrace can i tend to your tiredness and sing to your strength dear distant friend we are here till our bodies end i wanna meet you there where it really begins parting the air leaning into the wind i wanna hold your hand stepping into the dark i wanna feel the land that blooms in your heart there are many roads we will be on alone and it's not true most don't lead home but i will take comfort and joy in knowing you're out there too and sure i might get sad when i don't get to see you but when i do i'm gonna wrap you in a flame that burns away every name the world knew to use to be cruel to you
3.
this is nobody's offering this is nobody's miracle this is trying to turn dirt into stone. with enough pressure i could break my body into diamonds facets all face outward you know. Boys with crystal chests they fill with light they're hard to shatter mirrors for me were never whole. I am tired of this stupid human body I feel wired, most nights I can't sleep tossing and turning like the stone that left your hand so many morning ago I hope it lies in the shadow of the last mill building before it falls down buried beneath brick becoming bone where do houses go when they die? every place I've ever lived is full of ghosts every time I leave I make another one every one I've ever loved is full of ghosts every time they leave they make another one every place I've ever lived is full of ghosts every time i leave i make another one but when i don't move i feel their many hands they remind me this is not mine they remind me none of this is mine and that gives me anxiety, and that gives me strength.
4.
little girl you are tall like the world what wanders unfurl from seafoam curls you have stared at two oceans little middle fingers raised not breaking or broken just a little too late I watched you start over each day it stayed hard Digging through muscle and earth long sharp shards I wanted to bring you someplace warm and far we were wading through water or was it stars oh honey you haunt the dawn. if no light remains it peeled off in flakes condensed into black clay into prayers unprayed there is a house in your heart it is stories tall reach out in its dark scrape bare walls born in the wane fingernail whitecaps is it new moons or waves the arc of your words was split through and unheard and writhing like a swarm of birds i wonder will your hair grow gray will you grow it long or cut it short will you grow it long or things short i hate my body, you love my body i hate my body, you love my body the cactus is dead the fennel is dead the bonsai is dead because we left them in our van and we live in new england it's no place for a cactus from arizona it's no place for some fennel from a river in california it's no place for a bonsai probably from home depot dear distant friend we are here till our bodies end
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about

The first recordings of these projects not as solo projects.

Recorded, mixed, and mastered at Dead Air studios in Leverett MA.

Thanks to Mt. Home Arts and Gray Sky Micropress for their support for the manifestation of this record.Thanks to my companions and compatriots in The Milky Way for weaving this nest with me.

Album art by Beyon.

Loone on this record:
Noel'le Longhaul plays guitar and sings
Nick Berger plays bass and sings
Alyssa Kai plays drums and synth

Currently in performance:
Noel'le Longhaul plays guitar and sings
Nick Berger plays synth and sings
Alyssa Kai plays drums
Ruby Opal Vespertillio plays bass

Paper Bee:
Noel'le plays drums, alyssa plays bass, nick plays guitar and sings. Don't assume our genders based on out voices. Xoxo

credits

released December 17, 2015

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LOONE Montague, Massachusetts

Queer dirges and hymnals. Doom and flight.

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